Kure Atoll

I fear this is the actual end of me. I'm sorry.

I am struggling yet again to maintain my calmness, I find that writing about my issues does help somewhat.

This is a pressure test against me and I'm losing, I am slowly losing my business, my financial position, my ability to feel anything. Yet again, I only feel empty. The high built upon my ability to feel love and the power trip of the host is coming down and I realise how arrogant and self centered I am. I'm sorry for who I am.

I can't feel much empathy for people, I'm always cold and logical, I believe I hallucinate my ability to be a normal person. My personality changes by the week, I don't really know who I am.

I have anxiety 24/7, if I feel anything it's just that, nothing else.

I lost everyone around me from my ignorance and instability. This is how I lose her, I'm done as soon as I do.

I see everything collapsing around me, I just know I won't be "stable" this time.

this lovely life has been designed and engineered into existence by (c) 2025 ether